So Much Cooler Than Dracula, and Other Monster Aca

Jack: The Stereotypes of Being a Vampire | August 2, 2010

    With all the equal rights organizations out there now a days, you’d think that someone would take the time to help out their little friendly bloodsucking neighbors. But no, of course not. They’re all focused on human stereotypes, but not once do they think: “Hey, maybe we should include vampires in our little club. Maybe they have feelings, too.” Honestly, the world’s perception of us is ridiculous. What kind of self-respecting monster stalks around in a cloak like that? Can you say fashion emergency? No vampire I know would be caught dead in one of those things. And the whole coffin thing? Do you know what that would do to my spinal alignment? But the worst one, in my opinion, would have to be the sparkling. Really? What the heck is that about? Sure, we can be sensitive behind are cold skin, but let’s not get stupid, guys. Sparkles? So what, we’re Semi-nocturnal, human killing, blood sucking, sparkly, yellow, daisy-loving creatures? Yah, no. Doesn’t work.   


    Speaking of that nocturnal thing, it’ll makes it awfully hard to go to my daytime classes once I start at Lusus Naturae Academy. It’s like I have perpetual jet lag. You’d think No Child Left Behind would cover that.


    Our irritable lack-of-sleep thing might be what gives vampires their bad-boy rep. Or bad-girl in my case. I wish it was bad boy. Ya, that’s right. I’m a vampire tomboy. All the other vampire girls here are fixated on putting on the best black lipstick and finding the human blood type that makes their nails the shiniest (the consensus seems to be A-). But I think that’s just a waste of time. I’d rather be out hunting helpless creatures the guys any day. I guess that’s why I hate my name so much. Jacinda. Isn’t that cute? It’s an old family name. My mother was name Jacinda, and so was my Aunt. Her daughter was named Jacinda, and so was my grandmother. Her sister was name Coco. Coco didn’t last that long. 

    That’s why I go by Jack. Not very girly, right? That’s the idea! I’d hope it’d make the dudes think of me as one of their own. Mostly it just makes me seems wierd. 

    So I guess that makes me a wierd vampire. That’s a new one. 

                                                                               -Jack Nightingale  



  1. Sounds like you’ve got a lot of potential! Very creative! I also am writing my second fantasy novel, so this is an amusing distraction for me. If you’d like any constructive criticism let me know! Don’t worry, I’m not a mean person.

    Comment by svghenry — August 3, 2010 @ 4:58 pm

  2. Sure, anything that can help me is great! I want to improve. You’re my first comment, so thank you! Also, I’ve only been using wordpress for 3 days, so any tips you can give on how to navigate the sight would be great. I keep hearing about new things I’ve never heard of!

    Comment by Cindy "Undead" Snyder: Techie for Monsters — August 3, 2010 @ 5:16 pm

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About author

Being the tech squad director at my new boarding school sounded like such a good idea at the time. I just wish someone had told me it was a school for monsters! And trust me, these aren't the dashing Cullens and happy werewolves you'd expect. These are the real deal. So now I'm stuck managing the blogs of my peers: a sarcastic vampire, a cocky werewolf, a socially awkward Yeti, and a perpetually whinny banshee. But I don't need to tell you. Just read there blogs. At least it will be a good laugh. And then afterwords, please, please, please, someone out there: Get me out of here. I wan't OUT! HELP!







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