Gina: The Life and Times of a Scaredy-Cat Ghost-EEEEEK!

   We’re pretty much the most universally feared creatures of the planet. Ghosts are scary. That’s all there is to it. We’ve gone through death, and we’re still kickin’. More or less. All around the world, since…forever, people have been telling stories of haunted houses and creepy graveyard. We are the creme of the monster crop. I could have the world shaking in its boots if I wanted to. So why am I such a scaredy cat?   It started when I was about four. And when I say four, I’m talking in ghost years. I was about sixteen when I died, give or take a year. I at a bad mushroom, and that was that. You don’t really retain many memories when you cross over to your new plasma form. The ghost council sends some nice old dead lady to pick you up, and life just restarts. You learn how to haunt and walk through walls and all the fun stuff. But nowhere in their endless lessons did they mention what to do if you’re afraid of the people you’re haunting!   But, anyway, the four-year mark is a big deal. You’ve been a ghost four years, and you’re ready to start haunting on your own. My first haunt was this guy named Devlin. I know you mortals can’t see ghosts, but I just shuddered. He was the creepiest kid I’ve ever met. He was a twelve-year-old taxidermist, when his mom wasn’t home. He like to kill little wild animals, and well, taxidermy them. Isn’t that disgusting? And his method of killing: MUSHROOMS! I panicked. I took one step in that room, saw him with his little bowl of mushrooms and his dead animals, and ran. I was so scared that I didn’t stop running until I hit in China. Okay, so I just teleported to China. Same basic principle! I was shaking and sick to my stomach, like I’d eaten one of his mushrooms. Which would be stupid, since ghosts don’t eat. But it was really scary! I hid behind this crappy restaurant for a couple days. When I finally got my courage up to go home, I figured I’d have to tell them about my epic fail. But when I got there, I took one look into my ghost mom’s proud eyes, and lied like a little wooden puppet. I told them I’d had a great time scaring Devlin the past few days, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave until now! And so they bragged to all the neighbors. That’s when I realized I was screwed.   Since the Devlin incident, I haven’t been able to look a human in the eye. Or a vampire. Or a yeti. Or anything, because I am so, completely, and totally terrified of everything! I have to pretend to go scare people, while I secretly cower in an alley outside of their house. I’m just so afraid: of the dark, of people, even of DEATH!I am ghost. Afraid to die.  

Kill me now. 

                                                                                                        -Jenna Pham 

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Posted in Gina's Blog, Uncategorized
Tags: banshee, boarding, boarding school, comedy, comic, creature, fiction, funny, ghost, ghosts, humor, humorous, monster, satire, school, teenage, vampire, vampires, werewolf, yeti