Roger: The Natural Charm of a Werewolf | August 3, 2010
I gotta say it, chicks really dig werewolves. And why wouldn’t they? We’re, like, perfect. I mean, we can be incredibly handsome most of the time, with great hair, and then, on the full moon, we can be strong, and fast, and killer athletes. With even more great hair. How could we be better? It makes me look even better when I have so little competition. I won’t even get to the Academy until tomorrow, and I already know that I’ll flatten the playing field. Vampires can be attractive, but they’re kind of sketchers. Yeti are ugly oafs, and banshee are crazy annoying. Hot, but annoying. Brainless annoying cuties. My type. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not shallow. I don’t mind if girls are smart and opinionated, just as long as they’re pretty. I’m very deep like that. It’s rare that someone doesn’t like me, but of course, there’s always the foolish few. I try to have pity on them. They’re clearly just upset they aren’t me. It’s understandable. I try to smile at them and wave, when I’m feeling patient, at least. It may help them out of they’re depression. Yes, yes, I know, I’m too charitable. I just can’t help myself. I guess that’s why I’m never without a girlfriend. And when I get annoyed with someone’s blabbering, I just get I replace her. It sounds mean, but I know they won’t mind. Dating me for even a week is worth the heartbreak, don’t you think? In preparation for my new school year, I dumped all my other girlfriends back home. They seemed sad (who wouldn’t be), but I’m sure they’ll get over it and remember me with fondness. I’m excited to meet all of my new classmates. Well, mostly the girls. Banshee are the most fun to be around, when they keep they’re mouth shut, at least. Vampires can be hot, but you can’t stick with them too long. They’re kinda downers. I’ve never been able to resist a siren, though. I’ve heard Lusus Academy has a great sports program. I’m pretty good at that sort of thing. It should be a great year. It always is when I’m around.
-Roger Bane
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